I feel the need to vent, and so I think I will.
This has been such a week of emotions! Fear, discouragement, frustration, worry.
I don't mean to cause additional stress to anyone out there who is suffering from Lyme disease. Honestly, my main purpose in creating this blog was to provide information and ENCOURAGEMENT to those who stumble upon it. I hope I have helped many of you to find the help you needed, and to have hope that your situation will improve.
Nevertheless, this has been a very difficult week for me. I find my self smack dab in the middle of a Lyme relapse. Sigh! For at least a year and a half, I had been functioning at about 85-95% of my normal self, and that was great! It was so amazing to think that I had beat this illness, or at least pummelled it into submission/remission.
I went off the antibiotics in early January. I felt fine for the first month of drug-free living, but then that insidious symptom returned one night, out of the blue. The brain vibration and electrical body sensation when I'm about to drift off to sleep.
Honestly.......WHAT IS WITH THAT?????????????? Why can't a neurologist tell me what that is? Why doesn't an MRI show something? Why did my sleep study report a normal sleep pattern?
Lyme is like that. We look so normal on the outside, and the tests we have done report that we're normal on the inside. Meanwhile, the borrelia is drilling deep into our tissues and brains and wreaking havoc on all of our organ systems.
Several symptoms have returned:
the head vibrations / electrical sensations
a vibrating feeling in my body
a profound fatigue
And a lovely new symptom that occurred for the first time yesterday - vertigo! It only happened for 2 minutes while I was teaching a class, but I felt like I couldn't get my balance....like I was walking sideways! Maybe it wasn't Lyme-related at all; I had just hopped down from a table I had been sitting on. Perhaps something jarred in my inner ear, who knows.
The fatigue has made it quite hard to get through my days in the past two weeks, and the tears are flowing pretty easily. I'm thankful that I've been able to speak to my Lyme doctor over the phone and get back on antibiotics. I suppose I should also be thankful that I am able to get sleep with the help of sleep medication. I sure have a love-hate relationship with Big Pharma.
I know that for the next few months, I'll need to really focus on helping my body to heal by eating a very clean diet devoid of sugars and starches.....as hard as that is for me. I need to avoid stress and get adequate sleep. I need to rest when my body tells me so. I need to exercise. I need to pray and spend time with Jesus, who promises to be my help in times of trouble.
And I need to wait.....and wait.....and wait.....until things settle down in my body again. I know it will happen because it has before.
I hope you will not be discouraged by what you have read; that was not my intention. I just wanted to be honest with you about my Lyme journey.
Many blessings to you all. I hope that in a few months, I'll be able to report back to you with good news.