Rain on a Distant Roof

Vanessa Farnsworth is a Canadian writer who has published a book journaling her experience with Lyme disease while trying to access help through the Canadian health care system.  I've read excerpts of her book online and it is very good.....gripping, in fact.  Nevertheless, I'm not sure if I can bring myself to read it.....yet.  It's hitting a little too close to home for me at the moment.  I'm sure I will pick it up at some point as I love non-fiction.  Thank you, Vanessa, for sharing your story with us, and exposing the horror of this illness as well as the flaws in our medical system.

Check out Vanessa's excellent website and blog here.

It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to!

I feel the need to vent, and so I think I will. 

This has been such a week of emotions!  Fear, discouragement, frustration, worry. 

I don't mean to cause additional stress to anyone out there who is suffering from Lyme disease.  Honestly, my main purpose in creating this blog was to provide information and ENCOURAGEMENT to those who stumble upon it.  I hope I have helped many of you to find the help you needed, and to have hope that your situation will improve.

Nevertheless, this has been a very difficult week for me.  I find my self smack dab in the middle of a Lyme relapse.  Sigh!  For at least a year and a half, I had been functioning at about 85-95% of my normal self, and that was great!  It was so amazing to think that I had beat this illness, or at least pummelled it into submission/remission.

Until......

I went off the antibiotics in early January.  I felt fine for the first month of drug-free living, but then that insidious symptom returned one night, out of the blue.  The brain vibration and electrical body sensation when I'm about to drift off to sleep. 

Honestly.......WHAT IS WITH THAT??????????????  Why can't a neurologist tell me what that is?  Why doesn't an MRI show something?  Why did my sleep study report a normal sleep pattern?

Lyme is like that.  We look so normal on the outside, and the tests we have done report that we're normal on the inside.  Meanwhile, the borrelia is drilling deep into our tissues and brains and wreaking havoc on all of our organ systems.

Several symptoms have returned:
the head vibrations / electrical sensations
a vibrating feeling in my body
head pressure
digestion problems
a profound fatigue
And a lovely new symptom that occurred for the first time yesterday - vertigo!  It only happened for 2 minutes while I was teaching a class, but I felt like I couldn't get my balance....like I was walking sideways!  Maybe it wasn't Lyme-related at all; I had just hopped down from a table I had been sitting on.  Perhaps something jarred in my inner ear, who knows. 

The fatigue has made it quite hard to get through my days in the past two weeks, and the tears are flowing pretty easily.  I'm thankful that I've been able to speak to my Lyme doctor over the phone and get back on antibiotics.  I suppose I should also be thankful that I am able to get sleep with the help of sleep medication.  I sure have a love-hate relationship with Big Pharma.

I know that for the next few months, I'll need to really focus on helping my body to heal by eating a very clean diet devoid of sugars and starches.....as hard as that is for me.  I need to avoid stress and get adequate sleep.  I need to rest when my body tells me so.  I need to exercise.  I need to pray and spend time with Jesus, who promises to be my help in times of trouble.

And I need to wait.....and wait.....and wait.....until things settle down in my body again.  I know it will happen because it has before.

I hope you will not be discouraged by what you have read; that was not my intention.  I just wanted to be honest with you about my Lyme journey.

Many blessings to you all.  I hope that in a few months, I'll be able to report back to you with good news.

Lots of reading!

Way to go, Maclean's Magazine, for publishing a balanced article about Lyme disease.  The more we can educate people, the more people will take precautions.  After all, the best "cure" for Lyme is to never contract it in the first place.  Click here to read the article in Maclean's.

On a personal note, I thought I'd give you an update about my life with Lyme.  I stopped antibiotics around January 1 of this year, but re-started them a few weeks ago because symptoms started creeping back.  On top of that, I caught the worst cold ever 2 1/2 weeks ago, and it's still hanging on.  The cold, combined with the Lyme, has pretty much done me in the past 2 weeks. 

Yesterday, I had the worst fatigue I've had in a couple of years.  I came home from work, laid down on the couch, and could.not.get.up!  Hubby had to make dinner, do the dishes, run our son to an event, make the lunches, and drag me up to bed!  Thankfully, after a half-decent night's sleep, I'm feeling considerably better today, though still tired.

I'm trying to follow a detox diet currently, but I keep falling off the wagon!  The book that inspired me is called The Detox Diet by Toronto naturopath Natasha Turner.  Perhaps you've seen her on The Marilyn Show or Dr. Oz.  The book is fabulous, and I have no doubt that following the diet would do wonders for my (and everyone's) health.  So, I'll get back on it tomorrow and hopefully persevere a little longer this time.  With Lyme disease, it is very important to control inflammation by eating a healthy diet free of sugars and low in starchy carbs. 

I also purchased the book Why Can't I Get Better?  Solving the Mystery of Lyme and Chronic Disease by MD Richard Horowitz.  The book is much thicker than I realized when I ordered it, so it's not a quick read.  It chronicles Dr. Horowitz's practice treating Lyme for the past 25 years with lots of patient stories as well as valuable medical information.  If you have Lyme disease, it's worth it to have a copy of this hanging around for reference.  Dr. Horowitz has quite a sense of humour which shines through in various parts of the book.  Check out his Ballad of the Deer Tick on YouTube!

Hoping this post finds you well, with a happy heart despite circumstances.  Spring is just around the corner (at least I think it is!) and I know I am looking forward to warmer days, sunshine, flowers, and the yearly reminder that new life can spring from a cold, dark place.
 

Healing words